


Dancing Through Our House With The Ghost Of You

by lostinthesounds



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: F/M, Fluff and Angst, Sad with a Happy Ending
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-12
Updated: 2018-01-12
Packaged: 2019-03-02 23:45:29
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,730
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13328955
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lostinthesounds/pseuds/lostinthesounds
Summary: But, he couldn't bring himself to look down at the floor at the last painting Clarke ever drew with her soul in peace. Her fear of the ground wasn't even a thing because it was inhabitable and all she was worrying about was how the aspect of time was making her 18 and possibly dead. It reminded Bellamy too much of what they faced together, the hardships that came with trying to know how to navigate in a place you've only been told stories about.Bellamy didn't even have his parents to tell him what they've dreamt of, or learned from being on the concil. He was never that important in society and he hates that the monster of the world had to seperate him from the girl who made him feel just that. Important and cared for."Clarke, I don't know if you could hear me-" Bellamy pauses when realizing how stupid he sounded talking to nobody. But he continued because at least, he was fooling himself.Or Bellamy going to Clarke's cell on the ark and reminiscing on the times where they'd be together.





	Dancing Through Our House With The Ghost Of You

**Author's Note:**

> I'm back at it again and i honestly love writing these, so I hope you guys enjoy this one-shot (might make it multiple chapters if liked) of Bellamy missing a certain someone on the ark after praimfaya. Set in post season 4, Bellamy happens to find Clarke's cell on the Ark and he finally lets his feelings out. Also feel free to tweet me @dinahsmorley on twitter if you have any recommendations or feedback!

The old cot squeaked as Bellamy sat up, cautious as his weight was barely being supported. He let the rest of his friends take the bigger rooms and better living situations because he didn't want to be greedy and quite frankly,  _social_ either. 

The last time he wanted to be greedy was with  **her**. 

But, he seemed to always learn from mistakes with painful reminders of what could of been so he had to live a life without the person who he could of done absolutely anything for. Clarke was gone, and even when he didn't have any factor of killing her..the stabbing pricking at his fragile heart pricked with agony because he knew he could of gone with her to the satellite tower and possibly died with her. 

Bellamy glanced at the small window on his left side and wondered how such a beautiful planet could turn into a monster. He didn't even have to live there anymore, to have nightmares of the times he spent in chaos. The sun was as bright orange as ever, glowing over the cold space like a flashlight in a room of darkness and Bellamy couldn't help himself by feeling the total opposite. 

_It's been one month since he returned to his childhood home._

It made him laugh, due to the fact that children were made to spread joy and live a happy life with family, the one factor of love filling their bones like no harm in the world could knock them down. But that was a lie, parents tear it down themselves...they are the wall-breakers to happiness. Bellamy was six years old when his mother gave birth to his sister who was living underneath the ground in a bunker in Polis as he thought, and he still remembers locking the door and the frantic look on his mother's face when all she felt was pain and worry in which should of been the second best moment of her life. 

She broke the most important law on the Ark that day. It was the last day she treated him like family and more like an assistant who would hide his precious sister for hours at a time so they would all be safe. 

Aurora Blake got floated into the abyss of space soon after, and Bellamy gets chills everytime he thinks about being surrounded by the galaxy that stole his mother's last living breath and sucked her away in death. 

Thankfully to Raven, the small clock on the table next to his feet read that it was early in the morning and close to dawn. It wouldn't be long till the sun beamed on his face to remind him about the bright radiation smoke running through Earth like a foolish game which made him choose his own life over Clarke's. 

                                                                    

 

Bellamy couldn't sleep and tossing in an already uncomfortable bed wasn't helping his mind fall asleep any faster. It was always awake now, trying to figure out ways to ration and survive on an three-hundred year old ship in the sky. The responsibility new to him, but he wanted to do this for Clarke because it was the last thing she asked of him and his blood boiled every time he lost his mind. Which happens alot when you can't handle your own emotions racking through you because there was only one living before and it was the love he felt that made him keep going. 

His feet were dragging on the floor lazily because of how exhausted he'd been lately. With the image of Clarke's cell in his mind, he felt the need to go visit and hang out there till morning. It was the only place he felt peace and quiet, which was ironic because he was alone in a spacecraft with only 6 other people that once populated thousands over the years. Bellamy only found her cell a couple days ago, wandering like he was doing right now -  _His heart was beating so intensely that it felt like it could burst through his ears and chest. The door was almost rusted shut, probably due to oxygen deprivation for such a long period of time yet Bellamy could still remember trying to sneak through the halls at night to try and spot his sister through a door just as similar. His hands were shaking when he tries to reach for the handle to push it open, but he retracts his arm to try and stop the shakiness. He was so nervous. Bellamy reaches out again and creaks the cell door open, trying to take in the drawings practically everywhere with blurred vision. "Oh my god" passes his lips with a realization of this small space actually being home to Clarke at one point in her life, and Bellamy tries to push all his worries away and imagine what Clarke would of drew if she was in this cell one last time. Clarke was taken to the dropship after being tranquilized in the arms of her saddened mother, as she never finished that drawing of Mount Weather on the dirty floor. It was almost black, the charcoal taking most of it's surface area. Bellamy steps inside fully and lets the tears fall down his face, his arms grazing over the bed frame as he tried to avoid messing up the big sketch on the ground. In that moment, he realized that she was gone and he wished for something that would make him remember her forever. Maybe that was it._

 

He pushed the door with no hesitation this time, feeling the cool air pass through him when he glances at all of the empty cells that once held the careless friends he trusted on Earth. They were gone too, and some he painfully has to remember because he witnessed it. The grounders were ruthless to them all, showing no mercy to the obvious help they needed to survive on a foreign planet. He took a deep breath, feeling a wave of comfort wash over him and his eyes fell to the drawing of Mount Weather and for some reason..he couldn't look away this time. Every night, for the past six days he's been coming here to fall asleep on the cot or stare at her drawings for hours on end. 

But, he couldn't bring himself to look down at the floor at the last painting Clarke ever drew with her soul in peace. Her fear of the ground wasn't even a thing because it was inhabitable and all she was worrying about was how the aspect of time was making her 18 and possibly dead. It reminded Bellamy too much of what they faced together, the hardships that came with trying to know how to navigate in a place you've only been told stories about. 

Bellamy didn't even have his parents to tell him what they've dreamt of, or learned from being on the concil. He was never that important in society and he hates that the monster of the world had to seperate him from the girl who made him feel just that. Important and cared for. 

 

"Clarke, I don't know if you could hear me-" Bellamy pauses when realizing how stupid he sounded talking to nobody. But he continued because at least, he was fooling himself. 

"I couldn't sleep once again, and I guess it's because I have so much on my mind. I seriously don't know how you did it..with running things in arkadia and polis, and being our only doctor. You were great at both by the way..I never really told you that" his voice was low yet strong, feeling like she was in the room with him. Bellamy let his fingers graze across a flower sketch on the wall, a small smile formed on his lips because it was the same flower that had those hallucinating berries which made every teen sick and paranoid. 

He sighs, before continuing to say anything else on his mind that was racing too fast for his own comprehension. If only he had the guts to have said this before praimfaya...it would of made him less guilty. 

"I miss you Clarke. It's growing inside me everyday...I just keep imagining you dying with radiation covering your whole body while I was flying high into the sky..safe and sound. You did so much for me. You saved me from my demons, and I didn't thank you then" 

Bellamy leans down and crouches in front of her Mount Weather drawing and let's his fingers touch it. The charcoal tinting the tips of his fingers, cold and dusty. 

"Thank you for caring about me. If only we were together right now. Things would of been so different" his words began to get choked up in his throat. 

Could he say it? 

 

"I would of said I loved you, Clarke. Damnit...I loved you so much." The words gasping out of his mouth, his eyes trying to find Clarke in the room. His mind trying to make this all a dream, to think that he could of been so lucky to have her alive and laying next to him every night. When he finds nobody else but him, sitting down in a room of broken promises and heartbreak..he says it again. 

 

"I still do" Bellamy was being truthful to himself for once, and he had hoped that wherever Clarke was..either in heaven or perished on the glowing planet. 

 

She could somehow feel his confession. 

 

He looked down again at the drawings and brushed off some of the charcoal from his fingers by rubbing them together and a familar quote ran through his head. 

 

'You've got such a big heart Bellamy, but in order to make sure we survive, you have to use this too' Clarke had touched his temple, like talking to a small child because she knew Bellamy didn't wanna say goodbye. 

 

Bellamy was gonna live his life for her, even when the thought of spending the rest of the days with Clarke...he had to be determined about something. 

 

So with one final sentence to the air surrounding him, his exhausted state of mind finally shutting down. 

 

"Who wrote the book on goodbyes? I hope you meet him up there Clarke...and send him my regards for breaking us apart. He's a ruthless guy" 

 


End file.
